Monday, July 27, 2009

It's Monday

Good morning everybody!!

There are some days that I miss having Twitter on my work phone. A
million tweets run through my head and I think it would be fun to
share them. But, at the same time, I admit that I would probably never
set my phone down and you all would realize that 99% of the things I
say aren't worth listening too.

I've never been on Twitter, but as I went through my weekend, here are
some of the thoughts - had, starting back on Saturday morning....


Man I love morning wood. Best erection of the day
1/2-way through morning run. Peeing on bushes. Feels great
Run finished. 7 miles. 8:28 pace. Very happy with hill climb
Shower finished. Reallly wanted a hand job, mood wasn't right to ask
Freaking hot today, again.
Doing painting prepwork on shelves, most boring, most important part
Neighbor's daughter looking very cute. Puberty hit her just right. Mom
is still fat
@ daughter's basketball game. Read schedule wrong, 1 hour early, going for lunch
Game on! Female ref very hot, tight black short and stripe top. Nice
whistle blowing technique.
We lost close game. Girls played hard. Daughter hustled, played good D
More painting prep. Zzzz zzzz zzzz
Really want sex tonight, aint going to happen
I never need to see another "American Girl Doll" movie again. Ever
Good night from bed, silk boxers.

Sunday!
Angie spoke in Sunday school, short black dress, no hose, tiger stripe
pumps. She has perfect legs. Wrap them around me!!
Cindy looking peautiful with baby. I'm so glad she is nursing. ;-).
M such a perv
Carol would be so hot if she just had a better face. Killer bod.
Services good today. I should take them mre seriously
Does it have to be 110 inside my car after every meeting? Can't touch
steering wheel.
Going to mother-in-law's. Hope sis-in-law is there. Want to see her
She's here. Knee still jacked up. Short red summer dress, small red
thong shows through fabric. ;-)
Does she do this on purpose? Smiles like that aren't by accident
You are such a freaking tease. Bitch! Please don't stop.
Taylor swift on TV. Can't sing, but totally hot
I need to finish blog post on "whiplash pretty"
Damn she is pretty, soft eyes, looks sad, why doesn't bryce treat her
better. I would.
Would I kill you to help with the dishes Bryce? You are so lazy. Its
your mother. Get off you ass.
I swear if you don't bang her, I will. Someday I will
Staying the night. She just left.. Sleeping In room where dad died.
Kids wouldn't sleep here. I miss him
Day is done. Tired. No sex in "dad's room". Too tired

See? I really don't need twitter


((TYped on blackberry while standing on bus, pleasae forgive typos)

5 comments:

T. Harrison said...

This very funny. I'm still on the fence about the twitter thing. My initial instinct is that no one would care to hear a play by play of my day. Then something really funny happens and I think to myself, that would have been a good tweet. I don't know. I spend enough time procrastinating on face book and blogger. Do I really need to add another distraction to my day?

Cheeks said...

You lust after your sister-in-law, huh? Oh, the dangerous games we play...

This was very entertaining. My tweets would be no where close to this interesting!

"Just finished my yogurt and berries for lunch."

"Listed to co-worker complain about her lazy unemployed bf AGAIN. I bet she fucks him with a strap-on."

See? :)

Roaring Lion of Two Fisted Cool said...

I just text message my random thoughts. Try to soread around the annoyance ;-)

Topaz said...

"You are such a freaking tease. Bitch! Please don't stop."
-HAHAHA! Oh man, I could just hear this. It's one of those comments that will have me randomly breaking out into laughter in public places...

Ms Scarlett said...

LOL!! Those are too great!!