Cycles

I am watching less porn, and making more friends

I am running less, and lifting more

I believe in almost nothing, but have hope in almost everything

I'm on-line too much, but I'm not sure if that's going to change.

I have started enjoying the cyclical nature of life.  I am raising kids and working as my brother gets ready for retirement and is preparing for his 3rd wedding as "Father of the Bride (2)/Groom (1).  My nieces and nephews are having kids as my Father grows old and he watches the obituaries for pictures of his friends.  I do not enjoy death, or the loss of loved ones, but I fear it less than before.

With my writing I like seeing my follower numbers go up, but I know they go down too.  Attendance at my cycle class ebbs and flows, sometimes moving up for several weeks until, suddenly, I'm back down to 10 faithfuls. 

Friends come, and friends go as do their blogs and those that were once close drift off, or we leave them, and they are replaced as we are in their circle, now unseen.

Spring is coming to California as it is, slowly, to our snow-covered friends in the East.  Snow melts, lawns grown, flowers bloom, winter birds go north, replaced by their noisy summer cousins.  Winter coats move to the back of the closet while jackets and cover-ups come to the front, knowing full well that they will leave again as the summer ends.

Everything is a cycle, yet we feel so linear.  We can't go back, you can never go home, you can never put your dick in the same river twice (or something like that).  I've never had a birthday where the candle count went down.  I've never seen an old friend who is now young.  My bank account certainly knows only one direction these days.

I don't know what my point is, that's painfully obvious to anyone who's read this far.  I just felt like writing a bit, and this whole up and down thing is getting old.  I want more ups than downs.  That's all I ask. 



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